Retrophilia: Knitting Knightmares
retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Right. So you might think that this project from the Fall-Winter 1965-66 issue of McCall's Needlework & Crafts looks like a reasonably serviceable children's ski mask that will make little Timmy look like a turkey. Just in time for Thanksgiving, right? Well, you'd be wrong. This isn't a turkey at all. Turns out, it's actually supposed to be a "warm little Indian." So instead of a turkey with a skin condition, it's actually an Indian with "war paint." Why he's orange, I really don't know. And what kid is going to want to walk around with pipe cleaners sticking out the top of his head? Could that possibly be comfortable? At least little Timmy can still play Cowboys & Indians even in the dead of winter...
But what if your kid isn't into the typical games like Cowboys & Indians? What if little Timmy likes to disembowel small animals and hide them behind the garage? Well, get your little serial-killer-in-training started off right with the other project on this page... after the jump!
Seriously, how freaky is that thing? It's not a ski mask — it's a Buffalo Bill skin mask! Try to look beyond the yarn bangs and pigtails. Why are the outlines around the openings blue? Are you meant to use the leftover yarn from the otherwise-lovely cardigans on this page? And then the neighbor child's skin for the rest? It just looks creepy. The description says that the "Fringed yarn bangs and pompon [sic] 'hair' are amusing." I'm not sure "amusing" is really the word I'd use. Disturbingly creepy, maybe. Unnatural and hideous? Goofy? Doofy. But certainly not "amusing." Yikes!
(However, for any of you enterprising and creative types, I can easily scan the directions from page 104 if you're interested!)
Wootini
Posted to Hot Stuff, Retrophilia on 19 November 2007
· Comments (1)
Other stuff like this: knitting, retrophilia, ski mask
I would most certainly like the instructions for these horrifying creations.