Ask Dr Tiny: Don't Drink The Water
Water, the hidden danger. It's everywhere. Right now, up to 80% of your very body is filled with the stuff. It's enough to make any sane man sick - especially what with these so-called "health experts" and "doctors" telling us to drink at least six glasses of the stuff a day. What are these guys, nuts?
But if you've fallen for the cult of hydration as hard as I have, you're probably binging on whole cups of water ten, maybe even twelve times a day. It's a habit, and you're hooked bad. And if, like me, you buy the occasional bottle of water to supplement your addiction, you might be tempted to re-use that bottle. Get your fix and go right back to the tap to fill that plastic bad boy up again - it's a cycle you probably can't break, reader.
But thanks to a slow news day in Portland, Oregon, we now have confirmed proof: reused water bottles are dirty! It's a fact! A cold, thirst-quenching scientific fact that cools and moistens the chapped esophagus of doubt. What's worse, the good people at KPTV have proven what was once a theory that percolated in only the foulest of minds: the more often you reuse your water bottle, the dirtier it gets.
It's true! Even if you wash your bottle, you still run the risk of drinking over 2,000 bacteria colonies! And despite the fact that scientists say it's perfectly acceptable, that's a pretty high number! I know I'm going back to drinking out of a glass, for one, and until the next slow news day prompts some jackhole to test the filth clinging to my sippy cup, I'm going to bask in the air of false safety that television news has taught me cannot possibly protect me from a world filled with danger.
Stay indoors, gang. Stay safe. Stay dry.
tiny dancer
Posted to Etc. on 27 February 2008
· Comments (3)
Other stuff like this: ask dr tiny, filth, water, you're disgusting
But, um... aren't they probably bacteria from your own mouth meaning they're probably not all that bad for you?
Anyway, more in the spirit of this article: I'm sure you can sanitize your mouth by drinking bleach first.
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This is hilarious. :D
Don't let that number freak you out. There's a higher number of bacteria living in your mouth, intestines, skin, etc. They're part of your "normal flora", bacteria that live in or on you and don't under normal healthy conditions pose a threat to you.
In fact, your normal flora are good for you because they occupy attachment sites, preventing bad bacteria from proliferating and making you sick, so continue to wash and reuse that water bottle, or if you're still freaking out, at least recycle it :)