Sorry, Boys: Gary Coleman No Longer Single
Actor/security guard/cautionary tale Gary Coleman has broken the silence on his secret wedding to one Shannon Price, finally opening their union to the scrutiny of the tabloid media.
To which I can only say: bad move, dude. Those media jackals, by which of course I mean me, are a pack of narcissistic sadists who will use you as a cheap way to satisfy their craving for a little something spelled S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E. Prepare yourself for a firestorm of mockery after the jump.
Aw damn! Girl got more gum than Bazooka Joe!
Wow, I instantly feel bad for having said that. Coleman's been through a lot of hard times, and I'm glad that he's found such a beautiful young woman to share his life with.
People has the skinny on Coleman's roller-coaster emotional life—their marriage highs (They got married on a mountaintop, with no one else around! She's the first woman he was ever "romantic" with!) and lows (He has a "violent" temper, and throws things when he gets mad. She's had to call the cops. This is actually not funny). Perhaps most touchingly, she claims that when she met him, she had no idea who he was. I imagine her saying, like, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout!" and he laughs like he hasn't heard that joke a million times and then she's like, "No, seriously, what are you talking about." She loves Gary Coleman for Gary Coleman! Even though he is not tall or attractive.
Well, I hope things come out okay for these kids. He's got a lot of baggage, but maybe they can work it out.
[via: WWTDD]
DannysNotHere
Posted to TV, WTF? on 13 February 2008
· Comments (1)
Other stuff like this: gary coleman, wedding
Ummm.....Why can't I stop thinking on Tom and Nicole?
Please Ophra, one too many!