Top Ten Craziest Bible Stories

You've probably noticed we like to mock the fundies here at Popsucker. It's not that we don't love all God's creatures. It's just that... well... some of God's creatures aren't as bright as some of the others, such as the ones who happen to believe that everything in the Bible actually happened, and that this is a great reason to go starting wars and/or picking on minority groups.

Maybe it's time to present those folks with this delicious list of stories that appeared in the Bible and are, therefore, literally true. A sampling:

• 42 children mauled to death by bears for mocking Elijah's baldness!


• David kills two hundred men in order to steal their foreskins!


• Jesus kills a disobedient fig tree with his mind!

It's just too bad it's a list of bizarre Bible stories and not insane Bible verses, because then this little doozy, or better yet this one, might have made the cut.

More Biblical hilarity here.

[via: Slog]