Take The Uwe Boll Challenge!

Do it! Do it do it do it.

You may know Matthew Dessem as the boy behind The Criterion Contraption, the excellent and amusing (unofficial) Criterion Collection blog, where he became the first person in history to say something interesting about a Michael Bay film. So he knows a thing or two about trash cinema!

Not surprising, then, that he has listened closely to the ravings of widely reviled fauxteur Uwe Boll and managed to find a kernel of sense. Said Boll, in response to petitions that he stop making movies (WARNING: the following is mostly incoherent):

You are on your own responsible that you don't make movies. . . . And you can come up with cheap excuses you have, why you never make it, like why you are not able to make more [than] your mini dv videos at home with ketchup and your little brother. . . . And if you write me, you don't write me with some (censored) nicknames out of the internet. Write me with your name and address so that I can track you down and rip you apart. Thank you.

So Dessem goes, wait a minute, he's right! Sort of. If Uwe Boll can make movies, can't anybody make movies? Why aren't you making movies?

Hence: the Uwe Boll Movie Challenge! "To compete in the Uwe Boll Movie Challenge," says Dessem, "you must create a short film that meets the following guidelines:

• It must be made at home.


• You must use ketchup.


• You must use a little brother.


• You must not use some (censored) nickname out of the internet.


• You have until May 16th."

Brilliant. Full contest rules here. Let's make this happen, dude. Are you with me?

The Uwe Boll Movie Challenge
[via: Criterion Contraption]