Retrophilia: Portrait of Happiness
retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Remember when you used to get stuff with your bread? Like trading cards or stickers or whatever? Ah, the good ol' days. I used to drive my mom crazy pawing at the package of bread trying to get the card to a see-through area so I could see if it was one I wanted. But lets go back to an even crazier time when you could get something even better from your bread! Make the jump and find out what!
That's right! For just $9.95 and five Helms Bread wrappers, you can have a snapshot turned into a "life-sized" oil-pastel portrait. In a frame, no less! What a deal! And check that fine print — your satisfaction is guaranteed in writing!
Okay sure, that frame might be a bit gaudy, and I'd probably be a little wary of giving them a black-and-white photo that they will just make up colors for, but it's still a heck of a deal. I wish this ad wasn't from 1967 so I could try it out myself and see what I get back! At least they make sure you know that the paintings are done by "American artists," and not the delivery guys!
I love that you're supposed to give the photo and wrappers and money to your Helms Bakery delivery guy, and in 30 days he'll drop off your framed portrait along with your next delivery of bread. How quaint. Naturally, supermarkets put Helms Bakery out of business with its expensive delivery methods. And I guess promos like this couldn't help, because they closed up shop in 1969, just two years after this ad ran.
Wootini
Posted to Hot Stuff, Retrophilia on 14 July 2008
· Comments (1)
Other stuff like this: ad, bread, helms bakeries, portrait, retrophilia, sixties
Those "American artists" weren't cheap.
They should have outsourced.