Let's start with the cheese itself. It comes in quite a few varieties, but the only really egregious one is "pimento." Everything else is pretty standard cheese flavorings. It just creeps me out that it comes in a little sausage casing like that. That's just not how cheese should be. Also, was Kraft trying to be youthful and/or hip with the purposeful misspelling of "Squeez-A-Snak?" Because I don't think they quite made it.

Moving on to the food itself, this is basically Cheese-Whiz, but in a tube instead of a can. Somehow it still comes out the same, though, with that lovely pattern. My concern is what Kraft seems to be suggesting you put their "process cheese spread" on. I mean, I'll give you the Triscuit, the melba toast, and even the pretzel. Possibly even the hot dog. But cauliflower? Really? That's kind of nasty. Stuffed Tomato? And cucumber? That's not right to start with, but then the amount of "cheese" they put on it is so overwhelming. Just eat the "cheese" and forego the vegetable. Who are you fooling at that point anyway? Actually, they've put a lot of "cheese" on a lot of these items.

Memo to Kraft: There are some foods that cheese doesn't go with, as much as you'd like to think otherwise.

Oh, and the creepiest part is in the text where they suggest hanging this ad full of ideas up in your cabinet where you keep your Squeez-A-Snak. Cheese that doesn't need refrigeration, even after opening, just makes me a little nervous.