Allison is thrilled to see her photo displayed on the wall in the house, and while the girls all act pleased for her, some of them are secretly jealous, especially runner-up Fo. Aminat is really pissed that Isabella went home instead of Sandra, who she truly hates. Awesomely, she totally confronts Sandra in the kitchen, asking if she thinks she comes off bitchy. There are a few other girls there, and the rest seem to be hovering on the stairs, eavesdropping from a safe distance. Naturally, Sandra insists she's just standing up for herself and doesn't mean to come off bitchy. In an interview, Sandra takes issue with Aminat's comment that the better person went home."At the end of the day, it's all about me," she declares. No, seriously. That's a direct quote. In one of the bedrooms, Jessica takes issue with the judges' comments, and predicts that she'll kick ass in the next photo shoot. Watch out for falling anvils! The girls get their next Tyra Mail: "Whether it's on the streets or on the sidewalk, you'll be turning heads." Huh? They're not even trying anymore, are they? Befuddled as usual, the girls give up and just go to bed. The next morning, they realize that it's referring to their new ride, a huge stretch Hummer in the most ridiculous shade of pink plaid. No, seriously. Pink plaid. It's like the Gaymobile. As the girls scream (of course) and pile in, we cut to the cheesiest scene of Mr. and Miss J receiving a "video message" from Tyra on their phone gadget. She's all superimposed on there, wearing a trenchcoat and top hat, talking to them like they're spies. Their mission is to take the dossiers she's given them to transform these model wannabes into "high fashion top fierce femme-fatalian models." Femme-fatalian? What does that even mean? Is she just making this up as she goes along? The J's accept the mission, of course, and dramatic music plays the girls into Bergdorf Goodman where they enter the John Barrett Salon. At the news it's time for makeovers, the girls scream excitedly. Seriously, you could do a drinking game with this show where you drink every time someone says fierce, and do a shot everytime the girls scream. You'd be wasted before the first commercial! The J's introduce John Barrett, but only some of the girls seem to actually know who he is. Fashion fan Celia is of course awestruck. Apparently some people wait months to get an appointment there. Really? That just doesn't seem worth it. The J's also add that the girls will not be able to see what their makeover looks like until it is complete. The girls all sit around waiting, hoping they won't get screwed up too badly.

Jessica is too pretty, so they're edging her out by cutting it a bit shorter and adding some red highlights. Eh, not bad. I guess it's an improvement. Sandra has no problem as they cut all of her hair down to almost nothing, and then bleach it white. It's very dynamic, but Sandra has to go and ruin everything by declaring that she loves it, and didn't realize until now she's that good-looking. Sigh. At least her makeover photo looks awful. Allison has those crazy wide eyes, so Tyra's giving her a long blond curly weave. Allison likes it, and I think the long hair nicely offsets her enormous eyes. Nijah's hair is safe, so they're exaggerating her weave. Doesn't look that different to me. Just looks like they styled it. Fo is freaking out because she wanted extensions, but they're cutting it all off. Tyra doesn't want her to look cute anymore. They open the curtains and Fo is shocked by what she sees in the mirror. I think she looks amazing, but Fo really doesn't seem to agree. Celia's long blond hair is cut off because Tyra thinks it gets in the way of her cheekbones. I'm surprised her cheekbones couldn't cut the hair themselves. Natalie is worried because Celia starts crying, and she doesn't want to experience the same thing. Celia feels liberated by her new shorter hair, which they've piled into a poof on top of her head so it sweeps back and makes her crazy, piercing eyes even more crazy and piercing. Yikes. The J's tease Aminat about her greasy-ass weave afro. Tyra likes the 'fro, but it has to go, so she gives her a long, Naomi Campbell weave. Miss J takes the remnants of the afro and wears it like a fur stole. Then he puts it on his own head for a photo. Aminat has a terrific sense of humor about the whole thing, and I love her. The new hair looks gorgeous. Tyra thinks Kortnie is too tan, so she turns her hair red. I guess that's better. Tyra wants to help accentuate London's bone structure by turning her into a completely different person. Seriously, it's this short, angular blond 'do that had me wondering who that blond chick was for the entire rest of the episode. London insists that change is good, and I guess her photo is okay. She pops more now. John Barrett calls the J's over to Natalie, who freaks out that they're going to cut her hair. She's actually leaning away from the scissors as we go to commercials. The whole thing felt really fake and staged to me, though.

When we return, Natalie is still freaking out, and John Barrett turns away like, "I can't deal with this," and Mr. J reveals to her that at the end of the day, they're not changing one hair on her head. That's why it felt staged; Because it was. I don't even know if Natalie's reactions were real. Mr. J warns that she needs to learn to trust the people she's working with. I don't think this was the right call. Natalie just has long, boring brown hair. She doesn't pop, and I assumed she'd get a makeover that would help her do that. Guess Tyra wants her to go home early. Fo is pissed, because she got a boy's haircut while Natalie got to keep her long hair. Teyona gets some long, curly extensions that help even out her elongated wind tunnel face. Not bad. Tyra thinks Tahlia needs a lion's mane, so she gives her a big bouncy blond weave. She's thrilled by the result, although I'm not. Fo continues to get more and more upset that everyone else got better makeovers than she did. And then, of all people, I agree with Sanrda, who interviews that she's now got less hair than Fo, but you don't see her crying about it. She also adds that if you can't take having your hair screwed with, maybe you shouldn't be a model. Bitchy, but true. The girls head home to a Tyra Mail that says "Not seeing eye to eye? Tomorrow it's time to make up." So, makeup? Fo is wearing a scarf around her hair as she tearfully interviews that she has to cover her shame. She also compares this agony to when she was little and had to live off food stamps with her mom. Um, really not the same thing. Fo thinks this is going to break her in this competition, and to that I can only say, "Only if you let it." Grow a pair, for crying out loud! Jessica interviews that she loves her new 'do and it makes her look sexy. "There's not a really lot of stuff you can do to make me look ugly." Uh oh. Someone's giving elimination-style interviews today!

The girls head to some storefront where Top Model makeup maven Sutan jokes that he doesn't even recognize them. I almost didn't recognize Sutan, because he has the cutest haircut. I also love his giant green scarf. Fabulous! He introduces the Cover Girl rep to his right, but unfortunately, her severe bob isn't as flattering as the rest of the hair in that room. Elyssa Starkman explains that they have to promote Cover Girl. Last season, they had that Wal-Mart challenge, but since there's no Wal-Marts in New York City, they basically had to bring a wall of Cover Girl products to fake it here. Sutan plugs the product a bit, then explains the challenge. In groups of three, they're gonna go out onto the street and find a woman to give a makeover to by introducing her to this special new mascara they've got that they claim will give your eyelashes highlights. Um, okay. Sutan explains that they are supposed to be spokespeople for the product, so they'll be judged on how well they promote Cover Girl. Elyssa reveals that the winner will be featured in a photo shoot used for a Wal-Mart ad. Whee. Sutan announces the teams. Team one: Sandra, Aminat and Celia. Team two: Fo, Kortnie and Teyona. Team three: Jessica, Tahlia and London. Team four: Nijah, Allison and Natalie. Sutan tells them their 20 minutes starts now, so the girls panic and scramble for the product wall. Aminat is not thrilled to be paired with bitchy Sandra, but is determined to win in spite of her. The girls run out onto the street and return with their makeover girls. Team one does well introducing the product to their victim, but Sandra is barely saying a word . Sutan thinks Team Three did a great job making over their victim, but not with selling the product. Team Four took the product from the wall to their victim's chair instead of bringing their victim to the wall. Team Two scared Sutan because they were a hot mess. They were talking over each other, doing different things and just being completely chaotic. Once the time is up, Elyssa and Sutan give their reviews, which are what I just told you, and they declare the winners Team One (despite Sandra's uselessness). Aminat is thrilled, and glad Sanrda didn't screw it up for them. The girls all go out to dinner, and since Aminat is 21, she has herself a cocktail, which sparked Sandra to warn people not to get drunk. Aminat doesn't appreciate her butting her nose in and in an interview warns, "Keep it cute, or put it on mute." I kind of love Aminat a little bit, even if she's a little too reminiscent of Danielle from a few cycles ago. Sandra thinks Aminat is trashy, but before we can get a good girlfight going, we go to commercials. Including McKey's Life as a Cover Girl where she helps a Make A Wish girl act like a model for a day. McKey is as gorgeous as ever, but there's really very little personality behind those pretty eyes.

When we return, it's time for another befuddling Tyra Mail: "How many models does it take to screw in a light bulb? I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Love, Tyra." Um, none? Because that's what PA's are for, dammit! Sandra has the brilliant notion that it's probably a photo shoot. Oh, you think? Brain surgeons, these girls. Sandra also voiceovers that she's going to stay focused and not let any girls discourage her, as we get a shot of Aminat. Hmm... The girls hop in their Gaymobile and head to a really shady neighborhood where Mr. J reveals that this challenge is all about finding the light. And they're going to be directing their own lighting, which makes the girls a little nervous. And in case that wasn't bad enough, judge Nigel is their photographer. Heh. The girls go into hair and makeup, and they all seem to be having fun with it. They go up in groups, and Nigel shows them these light sticks they have to pose with that will flash when the camera goes off, creating extra light for the photo. He demonstrates some poses where they can get different effects, but you'd think he'd show them how a photo comes out so they could see just how much light those things give off to know how close they can hold them to their faces and such. The girls look at him like he's speaking French, too, which doesn't inspire confidence. Up first is Tahlia, Nijah, Allison and Jessica. Tahlia goes first, posing awkwardly on a pile of rubble with the other three in the background. Nigel rightly points out that all her poses look like she's trying not to fall down. Good motivation, really. That looks rusty. Next is Allison, who is fabulous as always. Nijah is super-stiff, and really disappoints Nigel. Dead eyes. Too bad. Jessica underlights herself, and Nigel and Mr. J warn her that's not terribly flattering. Basically, her shoot is ass. The next four are Aminat, Sandra (of course they'd put them together), Kortnie and Celia. Aminat interviews that it's important for the girl whose photo it is to pop from the other girls in the background, but they've put Aminat all the way in the back, so Celia is totally popping because she's posing up front and center. It's like Mr. J's direction was deliberately sabotaging some girls. Conspiracy theory alert! Sandra literally smirks as Nigel critiques Aminat. Celia rocks it out, and Nigel is pleased. Sandra is determined not to be in the bottom two, but ends up looking bored and boring. After critique, Sandra improves slightly for Mr. J. Kortnie is so boring that no one bothers giving her any critiques at all, and Nigel just blows through his frames. Well that's hardly fair! When the final group enters the set, Mr. J warns them that so far, it's been pretty disappointing. London, unrecognizable in her short bleached blond 'do, does well, Mr. J is impressed with Teyona's posing and lighting of herself. Fo struggles because she's still not happy with her makeover. Even though she looks totally hot, she feels like she looks too butch. Mr. J calls her out on it, and Fo even starts crying on set that she doesn't look like a pretty girl anymore. As I said before: Grow a pair! Natalie does well, it seems, although she still blends into the background for me. When the girls return home, they get the Tyra Mail warning them of the upcoming elimination. Fo is understandably nervous. Aminat worries she was boring, but Fo points out she cried like a bitch because of her hair. That would certainly make me feel better about my chances. And with that, we go to commercials.

And now the judging, where Tyra again voiceovers about her "inner fierceness." And her photo is of her holding another little girl again. This time, though, she's also mesmerized by her reflection in a compact that's reflecting light in a feeble attempt to tie it into the theme of this week's shoot. She jokes that she doesn't recognize any of the girls, then lists the prizes and introduces the judges. Apparently this year's gimmick is Miss J's bow tie getting bigger and bigger every week as the girls are eliminated. Can we please put an end to this shtick? It wasn't clever the first time, and it hasn't gotten any better as the years have gone on. Awesomely, though, the guest judge is Nolé Marin. No little doggy, but it's good to see him back again! First up is Fo, and Tyra tells her how stunning she looks. She then informs Fo that whenever she cuts a girl's hair super-short, that girl should realize that she sees how amazing her bone structure is. Tyra knows best! Fo claims she loves it, but Tyra doesn't believe her for a second. Heh. The photo is beautiful, and she looks gorgeous, if a bit stiff. The judges are concerned that she cried on set over her makeover, and Tyra wonders aloud if Fo can handle modeling because appearances are always changing. Kortnie is up next, and they're underwhelmed. So am I. Nijah walks down and before looking at her photo, the judges have to make fun of her sleeveless pink ruffled blouse. It's awful. And you know what else? So is her photo. Tyra is dead-on when she says she looks like a beautiful corpse. The pose is stiff, and her eyes are lifeless. Tyra can't believe she's never heard of "smile with your eyes." Seriously. Have you never seen this show before? They love London's poses, and Tyra is impressed. Allison is unbelievably fantastic again, and it really is a wonderful photo. (Someone's quickly becoming my favorite...) Allison isn't sure she likes being compared to an alien, and Tyra awesomely tells her she's never minded it when people said she looked like ET. Aminat smiles when Sandra's photo is judged as boring. Celia is again dressed fiercely for judging, and they worship her photo. Personally, I think her pose is kind of stiff, and her face is utterly scary, but I know nothing about fashion, clearly. Jessica comes out looking like she's on the way to the streetcorner with a white wifebeater and jean shorts, but for some reason, the judges decide to make fun of her poofy hair. The judges pretty much hate her photo. Nolé busts out immediately with "Ooh, that's an ugly picture." Awesome. They don't think Tahlia is even modeling in her photo. Tyra tries to demonstrate how to have tension in your poses so it doesn't look like you're just standing around.I love when Tyra demonstrates. Boring Natalie walks out to be judged, and they immediately hate her short-sleeved lacy black top with one sleeve falling off her shoulder. Nolé asks the girls if they look in the mirror before they come out there. Heh. Can we get Nolé back for good? He's just the right level of bitchy without taking it into crazy-ass Janice territory. Tyra stops laughing at Nolé's catty comments long enough to tell Natalie that she has a fabulous picture. It is a pretty good photo, but I still feel like she needed a little edgier look and not getting a makeover will hurt her in the end. Unless that was the start of Tyra positioning Natalie for the win. Next up is Teyona, and Tyra apologizes for the jank weave, promising that if she's still here next week, they'll fix it. I love how every year, one of the makeovers doesn't quite go how Tyra envisioned, and they have to do a quick fix. Oh, and Teyona should definitely be here next week, because Nigel starts off by telling her that this was her shoot, and the other judges all agree that she looks amazing. It is pretty good. Tyra warns Teyona not to get lazy next week and think she's awesome, because that's when girls fall flat on their face. Aminat comes down and no one can find her in her photo. I'd like to think it's because Nigel placed her in the back, and that her wardrobe blends into the background, but I suppose someone stronger (Allison or Celia) would've still found a way to pop. Miss J also demonstrates the black girl hoochie pose so Aminat never does it again. And when they zoom in on her face, it is kind of awful. Her lips are hanging open, but not in a sexy way... it's really not good. Oh, and of course they make a point of showing a smug smiling reaction shot from Sandra during Aminat's critique, even though they didn't like Sandra's shot either. Gotta love the obliviousness.

When we return, the judges deliberate. Fo crumbled on set, but she looks fabulous. Kortnie doesn't know how to be a model, but may be able to learn. London totally got it. Nijah is beautiful, but dead. Sandra has no personality. Allison is Tyra's poster child for "odd and different is special." Celia is always on, and fabulous. Natalie had a great shot. They appreciate Tahlia's message, but aren't buying it. Jessica looks scary and not as pretty as she thinks she is. Teyona is beautiful, as is her photo. Amaniat was a terrible disappointment. Nolé can't even look at her photo, she's so ugly. Hee! The girls stand before Tyra for the culling, and she gives her weekly speech before announcing this week's winner of best photo: Teyona. I don't know. I kind of liked Allison's better. Tyra promises to fix Teyona's terrible weave. Next up are Celia, Allison, Natalie, London, Nijah, Tahlia, Sandra, Kortnie, and Aminat. This puts Fo and Jessica in the bottom two. Fo is allowed to cry about losing her hair, but brought it to set, and may not be able to handle being a professional model. Jessica is pretty, but that's not translating into photos. So who stays? Fo, obviously. Tahlia's photo was worse, so this was just to teach her a lesson. A tearful Fo even tells Tyra "I've learned a lesson" as she takes her photo. Heh. Tyra hugs Jessica good-bye and reminds her it's not just about being pretty. You've gotta look better in photos than in person. Not the reverse. Jessica's good-bye interview says she's never heard criticism like that ever in her life, since everyone always tells her she's beautiful. And even as she goes, she insists she's still confident, because she's prettier than some of the girls left. Way to not learn your lesson, Jess! And on the next episode, the girls have a runway lesson with Miss J, and a game of Truth or Dare exposes some juicy secrets! Ooh!