Retrophilia: Taste The Nutrition

retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Nutrition is very important. This mother very clearly wants only the best for her little girl, and judging by their beaming smiles, they've found just the food product to keep them healthy and happy for the rest of their natural lives. Whatever could this miracle food be? Make the jump and find out!

That's right, it's Nucoa margarine! Whatever the hell Nucoa is supposed to mean. I get the "Nu" part, because it's new. But coa? Even if it does refer to something, it's not really the catchiest of names. Margarine should have alliteration in the names. You know, like Land O'Lakes. Or Country Crock. Nucoa sounds like medicine.
That little girl sure does seem to be enjoying it. So much so that she's literally licking the margarine out of the sandwich without touching the bread. Now that takes talent! At least we know that she's getting all kinds of nutrition from Nucoa margarine because every ingredient has "food value" in it. I'm so glad that some mysterious scientists in an underground bunker somewhere engaged in "the greatest nutritional research program in margarine history" so that we could enjoy this "exciting climax." I can barely contain my excitement. Can't you tell?
Although if you thought "food value" was vague, check out the mention of "abundant energy factors." What the sam hill are those supposed to be?





