Retrophilia: What Does A Barbarian Smell Like?
retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
I'm pretty sure this is a Frank Frazetta painting of a triumphant barbarian being used for this 1978 ad campaign. Though I'm not entirely sure why. Make the jump and you'll see why Conan here is an unlikely mascot for this particular product...
Oh, sure, it's a cool add, and Frazetta rocks, but does this guy really have "sex appeal?" I mean, would you really want to smell like a loincloth-wearing barbarian? I'm just saying...
What's even more awesome is the fact that they felt the need to clutter up the product packaging with all that copy. "Sex Appeal. Now you don't have to be born with it. This provocative, stimulating blend of rare spices and herbs was created by man for the sole purpose of attracting woman. At will. More than the usual..."
There's so much copy it's continued on the back!
You've gotta admire the balls on Jovan touting this as literal "sex appeal" in a bottle. Just make sure to use the "power" for good! I'd love to know what this crap actually smelled like, and if it was enough to turn Joe Schmoe into a total chick magnet. Because I can think of quite a few people who would need a lot more than cheap cologne!
Wootini
Posted to Hot Stuff, Retrophilia on 27 April 2009
· Comments (5)
Other stuff like this: advertisement, barbarian, cologne, frank frazetta, jovan, retrophilia, seventies, sex appeal
interesting placement of his dagger
Huh. Guess I was so distracted by the giant sword I must have missed the obvious placement of the tiny-in-comparison dagger... ;-)
"I mean, would you really want to smell like a loincloth-wearing barbarian?"
Yes. Yes I would. The only thing better would be *smelling* a loincloth-wearing barbarian.
I like to imagine there is some reason for the "FOR MEN" in bold text. Like if women use it they turn into a big, sweaty barbarian man.
I imagine strange things, yes.
Hi, nice post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for blogging. I'll likely be coming back to your blog. Keep up the good posts