The girls all head back to their house, thrilled that Natalie went home. Yeah, pretty much everybody was sick of her constant whining and complaining. Celia reminds us that she's so much older and wiser than these girls because she's 25. Yeah, I wouldn't boast about something that's clearly been a problem for you in this competition, grandma. Also, the editors showing us this clip is clearly setting up a storyline for this episode. But then there is another mystifying Tyra Mail: "You need to hit the ground running if you want to fly." They're guessing hang gliding or parasailing or some such. I do love when they put these bitches in such precarious positions for photo shoots, but I'm guessing they're way off the mark. They usually are. Allison's photo is put up on the plasma screen, and she's feeling the pressure to keep up the good work. As they all sit down to dinner, they're psyched to be the final five, and Fo confesses that she never expected to make it this far. Fo then begins sharing the Elimination Edit with Celia as she explains that she's always half-assed everything in her life, so she can't do that now. A little rattlesnake sound effect punctuates Fo's comment that she's shorter than the other girls, so she needs to make sure she looks taller in photos. Huh. Why bring that up? Because just like with Celia's age, it's a plot point this week. They're not subtle, these editors. Never have been.

The next day, the girls all ride their boring white bus to meet Paulo Borges, who manages the lines in English that were prepared for him before sliding back into Portuguese, which is translated by the woman next to him. Basically, it's time for go-sees! Allison is automatically nervous as hell. According to Paulo (and his sidekick), the designers are looking for style, personality and soul. Yeah, well, I guess two out of three ain't bad, right? Celia is psyched to go on the go-sees, because this is the real business of modeling. There are five designers they can visit in any order, then they must meet Paulo at another address by 3:30. Who's going to be late this year? Because somebody always is. Usually more than one somebody. The girls all head out to the taxis provided for them, and immediately discover that the traffic here sucks. Aminat declares that it's worse than LA and NYC combined, and then earns some of my affection by calling it "redonkulous." Awesome. Celia decides to start at the designer furthest away and work her way back, which actually kind of makes sense. Teyona pulls up at the same designer, but since Celia's guy parked closer, she gets in first. But for some reason, Teyona decides not to wait her turn, but to get back in her cab and drive to another one. The hell? Tellingly, the first question out of designer Adrianna Degreas' mouth is how old Celia is, and it doesn't seem like she believes that this elderly woman is really only 25. Celia manages to demonstrate her walk without a cane, and Adrianna's translator explains that Celia has all the material to be a good model, but is too damn old. But Adrianna would still book her, so that's good. With three-and-a-half hours left, Allison is excited to go on her first go-sees, even though she's really not confident in her walk. Designer Oskar Metsavaht interviews that Allison was very shy, but he likes her pictures. However, Allison gets the comedy music on the soundtrack when she tries walking for him. He declares that she'd be fine for a photo campaign, but not for the runway. Clearly.

Fo, Aminat and Celia decide to ditch their cabs to walk around, because the traffic is awful. Teyona is getting frustrated sitting in her cab and not going anywhere. Fo gets to her first appointment, and meets designer Cris Barros, who is stunningly beautiful. Cris likes Fo's ethnic look and strong face, but not so much with her walk. She admits that Fo's lack of height doesn't work for her clothes. Meanwhile, Teyona is getting annoyed because she still hasn't seen anyone, and when she arrives at another designer, she finds Celia already there. How did Celia beat her? Because she walked? And seriously, Teyona freakin' leaves again! Wait your turn! Now you're just wasting time. Sigh. These girls. Another designer is just down the road, so Teyona tells her driver she's just going to leg it. Aminat is kissing Adrianna Bozon's ass by gushing all over the clothes, and knows that her walk and personality will sell her since her pictures aren't so strong. And sure enough, Adrianna would book her for the runway, not a photo campaign. Teyona is relieved when Aminat is leaving as she arrives, so she can finally see her first designer. Adrianna loves Teyona's walk, and would also book her for her show. With 2:43 remaining, we get a quick montage of the girls on various go-sees. Oskar apparently designed what looks like a shapeless potato sack dress made out of hideous reflective aluminum foil. It's awful. I can't even. He likes Aminat, though. Adrianna's translator explains that Fo is too short for their beachwear line. How does that even work? I can understand not fitting a gown that will be so long you'll step on it, but too short for a bikini? Ah, fashion. It never makes sense. With just over two hours left, Fo is concerned about the time, and starts freaking out because the traffic is so slow. As she frets, we go to commercial.

When we return, There's suddenly only just over an hour and ten minutes left, and Fo is still worried. Those commercials didn't seem that long when I fast-forwarded through them. Fo sees Oskar, and has to wear the aluminum foil dress. Ugh. He declares she's more commercial than high-fashion. Teyona is feeling confident, and heads back to Huis Clos, where she walks, and makes a very good impression. Allison hits up Adrianna, and her walk remains unimpressive. And by unimpressive, I mean a joke. The comedy music returns as she tries to walk in this flowy, drapey thing and keeps bumping into things. She can't even get out of the dressing room without getting caught on the curtain. Seriously. Oh, obviously, Adrianna's translator reports that they'd book her for photos, but that girl's not getting near their runway. With about 30 minutes left, Aminat gets to Cris's studio just before Celia. So Celia waits it out, and is jealous of Aminat's walk. Aminat interviews that she wants Celia to go home because she doesn't look fresh. She looks ancient, like a mummy. Cris is impressed by Celia, and thinks she'll have a great career. Yeah, modeling for AARP. Teyona arrives at the same location, and struggles with the awesome motion-activated sliding door out front. Heh. Since Celia's already there, she decides not to wait and instead head back to make sure she gets back on time. Okay, this time, I'll give it to her. You do not want to be late. She admits she'd rather only see three of the five designers, but get back on time. In fact, she is sitting in the conference room at 3:20, so she made a good call, it seems. With just ten minutes left, everyone's in their cars racing back. Oh, except for Fo, who has decided to make one last stop at Huis Clos. Where she is determined to again be too commercial. Fo legs it out of there in a hurry with only seven minutes left. What is she thinking? Does she not own a watch? In the cab, Fo is told she's about 15 minutes away, so she knows she's screwed.

Celia decides to skip the last designer and head back. Aminat shows up, and then Allison makes it with just a minute to spare. Celia thanks her driver and thinks she's arrived on time, but is in fact one minute late. Celia insists she was in the building at 3:30, but that doesn't count. Fo is devastated in her cab, and walks in, shamefaced. She saw all five designers, but was super late, getting in at like ten to four. Oops. Paulo's assistant enters the room to tell them they all actually have to go back to the other building where Paulo still is. Rude! Why wasn't he where he told them to meet him? Because in the stairs up to the roof, she reveals that they're actually going to go back by helicopter. So that's all kinds of awesome. Unfortunately, when they get up to the roof, she reveals that because Fo and Celia were late, they don't get to ride and have to go back down to their cab and ride back like peasants. Heh. Naturally, they're pissed. Especially Celia, who insists that she was on time. Hilariously, when the helicopter takes off, it nearly blows Celia off the roof because these girls weigh 75 pounds soaking wet. Aminat, Teyona and Allison are loving their helicopter ride over Sao Paolo, and it does look pretty cool, as long as you're not afraid of heights. Which I totally am. The three girls meet with Paulo again, and are evaluated. Allison saw four designers, and while she has a good face, her walk sucks. Yeah, no surprise there. Aminat was adored by the designers, who also loved Teyona's look and personality. The winner of this challenge gets a piece from each designer, and is... Teyona. Again setting her up for the big win in a few weeks. Teyona's thrilled, naturally, and the girls head back to their house. The clothes are already waiting there, and Teyona starts losing her shit over it. Celia is so jealous, but Fo's the one who cries about losing in the confessional. At one point, Celia makes a move to look in one of the bags, and Teyona starts freaking the fuck out, screaming that they're hers and everyone needs to back off. Woah, calm down, Miss Crazypants. Celia is aware that Teyona is now her biggest competition, but admits that if anyone's wardrobe needed a makeover like this, it's Teyona's. And with Celia realizing that her photo shoot has to rock, we go to commercials to see how McKey's Life as a Cover Girl is progressing. Not well, it seems, because they're still rehearsing for that fashion show. And she's getting her makeup done. Some more. At least by the end of this installment, they do seem ready to walk onto the runway, so maybe by the last episode, she'll do some actual modeling.

When we come back, Tyra Mail declares: "Top Models get maximum exposure. Tomorrow, you'll know what that feels like." They all guess bathing suits, and Allison immediately gets self-conscious, because her body won't look as good in a swimsuit as the others. Mr. J meets them all at the beach, and then there is theater. A tourist holding a map in front of themselves stumbles into Mr. J, but the girls know immediately it's Nigel. Jay explains he's their photographer for this shoot, and Nigel tells them they're going to be wearing high-fashion swimwear, and will have to make sure they stand out in a crowd. Allison is nervous shooting with a judge, because he's not only taking their picture, he's judging them. The girls go into hair and makeup, and Celia knows she has to take a picture that will keep her in the competition. Fo is determined to show Nigel that she can do this shoot after she broke down in tears at their last one. Well, at least she seems more comfortable with her haircut now. Teyona is stunned by the microscopic size of the suits, and they have to blur Aminat's ass as she walks onto set. Which is a beach set-up full of various types, like a fat guy, a kid, a hot surfer dude, and whatever. Aminat has to stand in the middle of all this and stand out. She struggles with her posing, and Mr. J makes faces. Nigel loves the way she looks, but says Aminat is not connecting with the camera. After they finish, Nigel tells Aminat that she has all the pieces, she just needs to put them together. Fo hits the set in her itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikini with all the confidence in the world, but Nigel has to remind her not to twist her body because she needs to look taller. Mr. J stops her to tell her to stop posing and tell a story so it looks more natural. Fo hunches forward, and Mr. J compares her to Gollum. He also says she wasn't interacting with the people on set like they wanted her to, and it didn't work.

Allison is crazy nervous wearing such a small bathing suit, and doesn't feel sexy, but when she gets on set, she totally turns it on and sexes that shit up, getting up-close and personal with the hairy fat guy. Nigel is pleasantly surprised, and afterwards tells her that she was the first girl who actually moved around and used the entire set, and she's actually surprised by this news. He tells her not to be surprised, and be confident in her abilities. Teyona is confident going into it, but doesn't want to rest on her laurels. On set, she does well, but occasionally loses her neck. Mr. J says that she's thisclose to being a top model. Nigel is again impressed by her skills. Even though she doesn't have the best swimsuit body, she knows her angles, and can work it. Backstage, Celia is practicing her poses in a mirror, psyching herself up. She steps on set, and is totally thrown by all the background players. She just starts posing, and has to be told to interact with the background players. Nigel is so underwhelmed that he actually steps in to show Celia what to do. Mr. J explains to us that it's super-embarrassing to have the photographer have to take over to tell you how to do your job. Nigel shows Celia how to fondle the chubby, hairy guy in the lounge chair, although he doesn't actually want to touch the guy. At one point, Mr. J is mystified why Celia grabs handfuls of sand as she stands up and lets it fall through her fingertips. Yeah, me too. Finally, they put Celia out of her misery and the girls return home to the Tyra Mail warning them of the impending elimination. Celia is convinced she's going to be the next one to go home. She tells Fo and Allison that Nigel had to physically show her what to do. Aminat and Teyona eavesdrop as Celia assures Allison she and Teyona are fine, and it's her and Aminat who will likely end up in the bottom two. Aminat really wants grandma to go home, and declares that she's not going anywhere herself. Fo is a little nervous going into panel, but is sure other girls didn't do as well as her. Yeah, let's not count those chickens before they're hatched...

Tyra's still breaking out those Rules To Owning Your Innner Fierceness: "Work hard, perfect your poses, and life will seem like a day at the beach." She's not even trying anymore, is she? Also, Tyra is posing in her picture like a broken down doll in a bikini. It's a really awkward pose. I doubt the judges would like it. Well, if she wasn't signing their checks, anyway. The girls enter for judging, and Tyra's hair is out of control. It's so wide. There are prizes, and there are judges. Oh, and this time, McKey's Seventeen cover is immediately covered up with one featuring the Jonas Brothers that lingers longer on-screen. The guest judge this week is Cris Barros, one of the go-see designers, and the reason why she's so beautiful is because she's actually a former model. Thanks for the info, Tyra! I'm too lazy to Google sometimes! First up for judging is Teyona. Tyra brings up her challenge win and tell her she booked all three of the go-sees she went on. Teyona's picture is good. Nigel compliments her on how well she worked on set. The judges all love her, and especially the lovely dress she's wearing. She explains it was one of her prizes from the challenge, and I hope it's Cris Barross' or she might change her opinion of Teyona's photo. Heh. Tyra is glad to see Teyona looking like the model she is in her pictures after wardrobe gets through with her, and the editors helpfully give us some flashback shots of all of Teyona's jank outfits through the weeks. They were pretty bad. Celia comes down next, and Tyra loves her outfit. Celia booked three of the four go-sees she went on, but was late getting back. Celia looks kind of good in her photo, but she's just standing in the middle of everything, not interacting with the environment or the other people. Nigel remarks how she seemed so distracted on set, and asks what happened. Celia admits she practiced hard beforehand, and Paulina warns her never to practice because you'll psyche yourself out. Tyra says she got cheesy on set, and it totally didn't work.

Next up is Aminat, who is trying to have a personality. She booked three out of three go-sees. The pose in her photo is dynamic, and her body looks fantastic, but Paulina doesn't think so. Tyra says that Aminat could have a body to rival Naomi Campbell's, but she's wasting it because she doesn't know how to model. Fo takes the stand, and her photo is awful. She's all hunched over. This must be her Gollum shot. I refuse to believe that this is the best one they could find, even if Nigel is claiming that she kept hunching and looking awkward. Nobody likes the photo. She's all leaning towards the camera, and looks short. Tyra comes out from behind the judges table to demonstrate how when you push things towards the camera, they get bigger. So if you have a big ass, lean it away. Big boobs? Pull them back, don't push them out. I love when Tyra turns into a teacher. It's hilarious. Especially when it's for something like this that should be obvious... when you're not dealing with models. Fo promises to remember the lesson. Tyra informs Fo that she didn't book any of her four go-sees. Fo is surprised, and Tyra asks Cris why she didn't book her. Cris admits she just needs more practice, and seh's not tall enough for a show. Miss J wonders if Cris would have booked her if Fo had come in and acted like she was tall and had confidence, but Cris' response still doesn't sound too enthusiastic. Tyra reminds all the girls that they have their own personal obstacles to overcome. Celia is old, Aminat and Teyona are black, Allison is creepy, and Fo is a midget. Time to move on.

Allison comes up, and she's showing a little ass that the CW has to blur out. Naughty! Nigel repeats how impressed he was with her performance, and Tyra is pleased she didn't fall back on cute again. Cris says that Allison has versatility, which is good. Of course, with her limited English, she doesn't say it literally, but that's what she meant. Tyra reveals that Allison only booked one of her four go-sees, and suspects it's because Allison has no confidence in person, not because of her awesome photos. Time to deliberate, bitches! But first, another Top Model in Action! Samantha got better-looking after a haircut in cycle 11, and made it to the final two. She walked in Amsterdam Fashion Week, and posed in magazines and did TV over there. Now that she's back in the US? Who knows.

Deliberate me! Teyona is fantastic, and finally looked good in judging, so it'll be okay when she wins in a couple weeks. Celia was unnatural and rehearsed. Aminat is also not natural, and has no tension in her poses. Fo looks like "Munch & Scrunch," according to Miss J. Whatever that means. Was that a children's toy? Nigel says she was as bad as the first time he shot her. Tyra manages to turn things back around onto herself by saying that lots of models choke up in front of top photographers, giving by way of example, the first time she shot with Steven Meisel, and had to be taken off set. But enough about Tyra! Allison did a good job, and Nigel was impressed. Cris likes her freshness. But they all laugh at her weirdness. And Cris doesn't even know about the nosebleed thing!

The decision has been made, and the girls re-enter the judging room. The girl with the best picture this week? Teyona. Naturally. Joining the future winner of this cycle of Top Model and still safe this week are Allison and Aminat. Really? Aminat? Whatever. I don't know how she's lasted this long.This leaves us with a bottom two of Celia and Fo, both of whom got lots of play this week. Both of them have serious issues that could keep them from being successful models. Celia is practically ready to retire at 25, and Fo is a Hobbit. Both of them need to work around their debilitating handicaps, so who might be able to overcome their curse? Celia. Oh, good. Not that Fo should've gone home either. That photo was crap, but I'm sure there had to have been something better. Aminat is the one who's kind of lasted longer than she should. Tyra bids farewell to Fo, and insists that it was really hard for the judges to send her home. Fo thanks her for the opportunity, and Tyra makes her promise not to grow her hair out, because she looks stunning with her shorter 'do. She kind of does, so I hope she listens. Fo hugs everyone good-bye and heads back to the house to pack. She cries her way through the interview, and insists that despite being a midget, now that she knows she can model, that's what she's going to do. Next week? The top four have to dance the samba, which I'm sure will be hilarious in its suckitude, and Tyra takes some shots of them. I love Tyra's shoots! They're always crazy! Can't wait!