Yeah, I know. It's not like it was served in such a luxurious fashion. This ad is from the year before I was born, but I'm pretty sure you still got the food in little plastic trays in tiny portions. But as I prepare to fly again for the first time in two decades (what — it scares the bejeezus out of me!), I've discovered that air travel is no longer the luxury it once was.

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to encounter any kind of "Ground Ambassador" who will happily answer all of my questions and make sure I get where I need to go. And I know for a fact I'm not going to find a choice of three different international meals during my six-hour flight. No more complimentary dinners. Nope, there's a pretty limited menu of overpriced "gourmet" treats to choose from. And if you think I'm going to pay nearly ten bucks for a tiny little sandwich or eight bucks for a fruit and cheese "platter," you're out of your ever-lovin' mind.

I guess the entertainment options are better now. Instead of a choice of two movies and eight channels of "stereo music, humor and news," now you get your own personal screen where you can on-demand movies, TV shows and even games. Although I have to wonder how you chose between the two movies back in the day when they offered one for general audiences and one for mature. Were the screens right next to each other and you just chose which audio to listen to with your headphones? Because then you could keep the cursing, but you'd have to be careful with what footage you showed, otherwise little Timmy would be asking a lot of questions...

Still, I can't get over that spread. Damn cutbacks... Oh, and I kind of can't get over that upholstery, either! Fabulous!