Phew! Well, that's a load off my mind! I mean, this whole time everyone's been complaining about how cigarettes give you cancer, and the whole problem was that everyone was smoking the wrong kind of cigarette? Geeze! If everyone would just smoke Chesterfields, we wouldn't be having this problem!

I love the way the wording desperately tries to make this sound as official as possible. "A responsible consulting organization?" "A continuing study by a competent medical specialist?" Shyeah, right!

Although the funniest part is that they found a group of people to smoke Chesterfields for six months, and it says that they smoked their normal amount, which was 10-40 a day! Are you kidding me? And that 45% of the test subjects have been smoking Chesterfields continually for one to 30 years? Holy crap!

Which is why I find it highly suspect that anyone who's been smoking 40 Chesterfields a day for up to 30 years could be examined by any remotely reputable physician and be found that their "ears, nose throat and accessory organs of all participating subjects... were not adversely affected in the six-month period by smoking the cigarettes provided."

Then again, it makes complete sense. After smoking that many cigarettes for that many years, what difference is another six months going to make?